WITA WARSINIE

Jódzej, 25 marcie 2004 o.


Scandinavian ambassador reassures Piniatyk

WARSINA (WASP) — The Scandinavian ambassador, Annika Østerbjerg, has confirmed to foreign minister Piniatyk that on the day after the invasion of Florida, a curfew was imposed on the population, Floridas entire gold and silver reserves was confiscated, and that Scandinavian soldiers, in a brief emotional state of berserkness and grief, destroyed numerous cultural artifacts.

However, Østerbjerg assured Piniatyk that, although it will take a long time for the grief to heal, Scandinavian soldiers have now calmed down from their frenzied rage, and that what is left of Florida's cultural treasures are being safeguarded by the coalition. Moveable treasures are being sent to Gøteborg and safeguarded there until such time Florida can satisfactorily compensate for the pulverization of Charlotte Amalie and its population, and for the after effects of the nuclear blast. Scandinavia sees the confiscation of Florida's entire gold and silver reserves as part of this compensation. This compensation must cover the expenses of the war, the rebuilding of Charlotte Amalie, the loss of priceless cultural treasures lost in the blast, the clean-up and ecological recovery of Skt.Thomas harbour and its immediate surroundings, the burial of the dead, medical costs to survivors of the blast, medical costs to the descendants of these survivors for generations to come, compensation to the families of the blast victims, and compensation to businesses that operated in Charlotte Amalie.

Østerbjerg also pointed out that the curfew is still in effect in Florida, not "to batter innocent civilians" as Piniatyk puts it, but to protect them and to impose some order in what is clearly chaotic times. The curfew will be lifted as soon as the coalition is sure that Florida is stable. The Scandinavian Realm does not intend to stay in Florida long as this would be costly and the Scandinavian Realm feels that it has already sustained enough expenses from Florida's more than fifty years of misconduct towards the Cruzan people culminating in the nuclear blasting of Charlotte Amalie and its residents. The Scandinavian Realm therefore intends to pass on the administration and perhaps even the sovereignty of Florida to capable hands as soon as possible. The Kancelli of the Scandinavian Realm is currently discussing who this might be.