Mardzej, 30 marcie 2004 o.

Conflict with Scandinavia settled

WARSINA (WASP) — Chancellor Sacz has accepted the apologies of his Scandinavian colleague Høgh-Guldberg for the attack of the latter's foreign minister Bernstorff on the RTC's policies in Florida. "Mr. Bernstorff's attack was of course unfounded", Sacz told the press, "although we have never been after his head. Anyway, I'm glad this most unfortunate incident has been settled now."

"I have also explained Mr. Høgh-Guldberg that no official representative of the RTC has ever tried to depict the Scandinavians as monsters, as he calls it, nor that any official representative of the RTC has ever accused them of robbing musea, stealing gold, or harassing Floridian civilians. If any of our newspapers should have misreported the Scandinavian liberation of Florida, that is very unfortunate, but as we are a country with a free press, our government can do very little about that."

"I also wish to point out," Sacz continued, "that it has by no means been our intention to overstate our own role in the liberation of Florida or to understate Scandinavia's role in it. We did it together, and that is that. To show our goodwill, a statue of Scandinavia's national composer Edvard Grieg will be erected on the Plaza del Pueblo in Miami. I also urge the Scandinavian Realm to reopen its embassy in Miami, and the Baltic League to reopen its office there."

Government dumps Aldendorf

WARSINA (WASP) — The commander-in-chief of the Republic's occupational forces in Southeast Florida, general Marek Aldendorf, will not return to Miami. Although officially he resigned for health reasons, it is suspected that the government needed to dispose of Aldendorf, whose autocratic behaviour had offended the rest of the coalition and almost caused a split in the Baltic league.

Upon his arrival at Warsina's aerodrome "Wniastra Wenedzie", Aldendorf announced that he will leave the army. When asked what his future plans are, Aldendorf answered enigmatically: "The options are many. If nothing else works out, I can always become chancellor."

Aldendorf will be succeeded by colonel Stasys Lozoraitis, who will respond both to the minister of defense, Edmund Mielć, and the government plenipotentiary, former ambassador Katarzyna Prowana.