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Abbreviations

ACC - accusative case
ADJ - adjective
ADV - adverb
DAT - dative case
DIM - diminutive
F - feminine
FUT1 - future I (imperfective future)
GEN - genitive case
IMP - imperative
IMPF - imperfect tense
INF - infinitive
M - masculine
N - neuter
NOM - nominative case
PERF - perfect tense
PL - plural
PRES - present tense
REFL - reflexive pronoun
SG - singular
1, 2, 3 - 1st, 2nd, 3rd person

Wenedyk (*)

Jan van Steenbergen

Ring Q (final translation)

Acięcoń: mał piór!

Par amórz dziewin! Szy łu kód pasawy jest poźbiół? Kura! Przyściędzej alkwała nieplanoanwalekła wieńszy a ność dom prokód kątar pro nościu natu. Ła faczeba tot kód pocie prokód żokar sie ku natu:
Ła żokaba ku łu dziwrzęcie żokły, ła kątaba li "Drom, miej pieskieł, drom" i ażutaba li sie endromier.
Wiec tęk, piór asłutawy łą i oszczydszy łą! Ił mądszy łą i pościału dzieżaczewy łu kód rzesztawy dzie wniastry! Kód pociem faczer? Kura, no! Szyk, siedzim en sytuaconi wiartablemięć mziorej! Kód pociem faczer? Kura, wiec dziewczłe są ciępra! Fali kód taczerzym dzie iłu kód pasawy. Płu mażu, nie włu jer a policą! Owiamięć kód łór kwieszczonie nie jerzę bieńwiąte.

Beware of the boy!

For the love of God! Is that what happened possible at all? Darn! Yesterday, some teenage girl came to our house to sing for our child. She did all she could to play with the child:
She played different games with him, she sung "Sleep, my little one, sleep" for him, and helped him fall asleep.
But then, the boy attacked her and killed her! He ate her and after that he threw what was left out of the window! What can we do? Darn! Yes, we are in a really miserable situation! What can we do? Darn, these are difficult times! We need to remain silent about what happened. Even more, I don't want to go to the police! Obviously, their questions won't be welcome.

Interlinear

Acięcoń       : mał          piór    !
attention-NOM : bad-M.NOM.SG boy-NOM !

//

Par        amórz    dziewin         ! 
by/through love-ACC divine-M.ACC.SG !

//

Szy     łu     kód      pasawy          jest        poźbiół           ? Kura     !
whether it-NOM what-NOM happen-PERF.3SG be-PRES.3SG possible-N.NOM.SG ? care-NOM !

//

Przyściędzej alkwała       nie - plano - anwal     - ekła         wieńszy       a  
yesterday    some-F.NOM.SG not - full -  year[ADJ] - [DIM]-NOM.SG come-PERF.3SG to 

ność         dom       prokód      kątar    pro nościu       natu      . 
our-M.ACC.SG house-ACC in-order-to sing-INF for our-M.ACC.SG child-ACC .

//

Ła      faczeba     tot     kód  pocie        prokód      żokar    sie    ku   natu      :
she-NOM do-IMPF.3SG all-ACC what can-PRES.3SG in-order-to play-INF [REFL] with child-GEN :

//

Ła      żokaba        ku   łu      dziwrzęcie         żokły     , ła      kątaba 
she-NOM play-IMPF.3SG with him-GEN different-M.ACC.PL games-ACC , she-NOM sing-IMPF.3SG

li      " Drom          , miej        pieskieł        , drom          " i  
him-DAT " sleep-IMP.2SG , my-M.NOM.SG little-M.NOM.SG , sleep-IMP.2SG " and

ażutaba       li      sie    endromier        . 
help-IMPF.3SG him-DAT [REFL] bring-asleep-INF .

//

Wiec tęk  , piór    asłutawy        łą      i   oszczydszy    łą      ! 
but  then , boy-NOM attack-PERF.3SG her-ACC and kill-PERF.3SG her-ACC !

//

Ił     mądszy       łą      i   pościału   dzieżaczewy         łu     kód
he-NOM eat-PERF.3SG her-ACC and after-that throw-away-PERF.3SG it-ACC what-NOM

rzesztawy       dzie wniastry   ! 
remain-PERF.3SG from window-GEN !

//

Kód      pociem       faczer ? Kura     , no       ! 
what-ACC can-PRES.3PL do-INF ? Care-NOM , now/well !

//

Szyk , siedzim      en sytuaconi     wiartablemięć mziorej            !
yes  , sit-PRES.3PL in situation-GEN really        miserable-F.GEN.SG !

//

Kód      pociem       faczer ? Kura     , wiec dziewczłe          są          ciępra    !
what-ACC can-PRES.1PL do-INF ? Care-NOM , but  difficult-N.NOM.PL be-PRES.3PL times-NOM !

//

Fali            kód  taczerzym            dzie  iłu           kód      pasawy          .
it-is-necessary that keep-silent.COND.3SG about this-N.GEN.SG what-NOM happen-PERF.3SG .

//

Płu         mażu     , nie włu           jer    a  policą     !
the ... the more-ADV , not want-PRES.1SG go-INF to police-ACC !

//

Owiamięć  kód  łór        kwieszczonie  nie jerzę       bieńwiąte      .
obviously that they-M.GEN questions-NOM not be-FUT1.3PL welcome-NOM.PL .

Notes

After some wandering, the title seems to have returned to its (almost) original shape. Although I'm not sure if the phrase "Moņşo! Lu Pir Malu!" in Rumanşa actually has the same connotation as its literal translation into Wenedyk (i.e. a common warning for a bad dog, with the dog replaced by a child), I assume it may have.
Kura means "care", and nothing else. It is used as a curse only because it sounds similar to the word kurwa "whore". Depending on the speaker's level of civilisation, both are used very frequently in Veneda.
Nieplanoanwalekła is the female edition of a nieplanoanwalkieł, which literally means "a person not having reached the age of fullness" or something. It refers to a person under the age of 18 (but not much younger than that either). The word has roughly the same meaning as spardzieczoanwalekła "teenager".

Smooth translation of the text received

Warning! Bad Boy!

For the love of God! Can it be [true] what has happened? Wow! Yesterday, a a certain beautiful adolescent female came to our house [to] sing to the child. She did all that she could to play with the child:
She played various games with him, she sung "Sleep my little on sleep" and helped [him fall asleep].
But then, the boy attacked her and killed her! He ate her and after that, he threw the rest out of the window! What can we do? Yes, really, we are in a very precarious situation! What can we do? Wow! This is a difficult time! It is necessary that we remain silent about what happened. Even more, I don't want to go to the police! It is obvious that their questions won't be welcomed.